Public Golf In Missouri In The 70's and 80's Sucked

Until the farmers sold out to golf course developers in the 90's. Unfortunately by then I had moved on but early in my golf career I was forced to play the public courses that existed at the time because I could not afford the dues of a private club. And let's face it, golf courses where the general public play are where you encounter this problem the most. (Members at private clubs usually won't put up with it.)

Six hour rounds were common, waiting on every shot while the idiots in front of us did everything they could to make our round of golf as miserable as possible, hitting mulligans from the fairway, taking forever to look for balls I wouldn't pay 10 cents for, leaving carts as far away from the next tee as possible, and I don't think they looked back over their shoulder at the havoc they were creating, nor would they have cared! Ready golf was an unknown concept and golf course marshals did absolutely nothing to help speed things up.

On a public golf course or resort course in this country it is not uncommon for a person who has never swung a golf club in their life to play for the first time on an actual golf course! I was ready to quit the game rather than put up with this nonsense. There just was no reason for it.

Six hours of frustration would ruin my weekend and I would rage to my wife about whatever happened to common courtesy? Not knowing how to play the game is one thing but just like a freeway or an airplane there are other people around that you must show consideration for, things my parents taught me. And if the others never possessed common sense or consideration, well, that was their problem. On the freeway you can drop back behind the idiots or in an airplane you can move to another seat when confronted with rude or obnoxious behavior. On the golf course you are trapped! And besides, playing golf isn't a mad rush to a crappy job, it's supposed to be relaxing and fun!

Out of control golf rage, the kind where golf clubs are used as weapons is not about slow play, even though that may be what sets it off. It's more about Joe the golfer being upset at his girlfriend, wife, parents, school, finances, (fill in the blank). Joe starts to play badly, frustration sets in (I just know I can hit a second ball better) and when he has to look for two balls in the woods, he is just a gun waiting to go off. The group behind him is just as frustrated, maybe for different reasons but is now directing their anger at the inconsiderate morons in front of them. Words are exchanged and if violence breaks out, things are blown out of proportion because of all the other issues, the wife, girlfriend, finances, etc, all of a sudden all this non-golf crap finds an outlet!

The United States Golf Association has done a fantastic job to raise awareness about and to address the problem of slow play. Their Golf Etiquette 101 should be required reading before someone new to the game ever picks up a club. The situation has gotten a lot better over the years. However, golfers who play the game the right way might agree that we still have a long way to go. Here are some of the things that I see that still need to be addressed:

When players are out of position and causing a back up, marshals need to address the problem, not ignore it and hope it will go away. And to be fair to marshals, try telling someone who has paid upwards of $100. to play faster and watch the typical reaction, an upraised finger or blame being placed on the guys in front of them. The upscale courses in my neighborhood who are concerned that all players at their golf course have a great experience will send out player reps to fore caddy, look for balls, rake bunkers, etc until normal pace is resumed.

For more ideas of how to combat slow play read my friend Par's treatise on slow play, the 10 commandments of golf etiquette and a his description of a fictional round of golf at the golf club owned by the queen of etiquette herself Emily Post Golf & Country Club. 

Here is a great video of how to avoid slow play to make golf enjoyable for everyone:

Click here to view the embedded video.

First we had road rage, then when that got old we progressed to air rage, and now finally, we have arrived at golf rage. Arguments and actual fights on the golf course due to slow play or other perceived transgressions are not a new phenomenon brought about by the current sad state of man's consideration to man but this may be one of the few times it's gotten so out of hand that it's resulted in serious injuries and a prison sentence.

It may seem a bit insensitive of me to post this in the golf swing category, I know, but a golf swing with a six-iron is what sent this guy to prison.

No Laughing Matter

C'mon guys it's just a game, isn't it? Not worth brain damage and someone's whole life being negatively impacted just because some discourteous jerk had to hit a mulligan, or two, or three, or…? Our golf clubs should not be classified as "deadly weapons." Besides, this isn't really about golf, is it?

According to court records this incident occurred as a result of an argument about slow play. The guy in the picture had his feathers ruffled because he got called on his slow play antics. Boy, if I had a dollar for every time that happened to me over a 35 year golf career I would truly be a rich man. However, no matter how idiotic some "golfer" acted in front of me, never once did I  brandish a golf club and go on the attack, common sense prevailed, words were exchanged, then forgotten. Being hit with a golf club, any golf club, can kill you. Shoot, I would rather face an attacker with a golf club in hand than the biggest knife, they aren't called clubs for no reason, you know.

Slow play on the golf course has been a curse to the game since it was invented. No one really understands why it has become such a serious issue and what can be done to alleviate it but I can list a few of my own theories (see part 2). The PGA tour has had to accept the brunt of the outrage on this issue because they are the ones that amateur golfers emulate at the muni on Saturday. They see a pro on TV walk off the entire length of his approach shot to the green, waggle endlessly, plumb bob a 10 ft putt, mark a one-footer and take a whole bunch of time doing. I guess in their demented minds these amateurs think that by emulating the pros they will play like them. Tour players are reviled for deliberateness, a term used to soften slow play, even calling other players on it, right Mr. Sabbatini? or does anyone remember Glen "All" Day?

The tour has had to bow to pressure and now puts players on the clock. A two-stroke penalty when in competition will definitely wake you up! What the amateur golfer tends to forget is that the PGA Tour player is doing this for a living, millions of dollars are at stake and one mistake can cost him thousands. However, there are limits, remember the old Sergio? He used to have me screaming at the TV screen, pull the trigger, goddam it! Jack Nicklaus could stand over a putt until you thought he had had a stroke or something, somebody check his pulse! Hubert Green drove me nuts with his endless waggling and fidgeting.

The amateur sees this and the next time they go to the golf course they start acting like Sergio or Hubert. It's called paralysis by analysis, and it just kills the game.

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